Layton You Bastard
by RisaShootingStar
Summary: Damn you Professor Layton. You and you’re utterly addicting games. DIP one-shot. Other pairings like Bunny, Creek, kinda Style and ClydexToken.


**A/N: I'm back! Just got back from Vegas! I had this amazing idea for a DIP story! Actually, it's pretty stupid. But I don't care~! I wrote the whole layout on my phone while walking through Las Vegas. I'm pretty proud because I didn't make any typos. Did you know, when I text I spell everything out and capitalize like I would typing? So instead of " Brb, ttyl, gtg p." I'd say, " GEH. I got to go pee. ." And I don't have a keyboard so it's just a regular phone texting pad. Aren't I amazing? No, I'm not. Started on 12/30.**

**Summary: Damn you Professor Layton. You and you're utterly addicting games. **

**Warning: Um…Slight yaoi but can be altered to friendship if you like.**

**Pairings: DamienxPip (Main focus)**

**CraigxTweek (Secondary focus) **

**ButtersxKenny ( Slight pairing but can be mistaken for friendship.) **

**StanxKyle (Can be mistaken as friendship)**

**ClydexToken (Can be mistaken as friendship) **

**Disclaimer: I disclaim. **

**Enjoy. **

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Pip is skipping, actually, more like jogging, down the sidewalk's way with his lover, Damien. Pip is holding a slightly girlish bag in his right hand while Damien casually walks along side his boyfriend.

" So, why are we going to Craig and Tweek's house anyways?" Damien asks looking forward, seeming not to care anyways.

"Oh! It's quite simple love. I just need a bit of help from Tweek. I hope you do not mind. Do you?" Pip looks up at the dark teen lovingly.

" No. Not at all." Damien replies not ever looking away from his stare. Moments later, the two arrived at Craig and Tweek's lovingly normal house. The two have both ran away from their family's nurseries and bought a new house together. So they may be left in peace as just a couple.

Pip knocks on the door twice. Hearing a muffles "GAH!" on the other side, the two step back a few. The blondish boy with wild hair known as Tweek opens the light blue door. The pale boy looks worried and frightened while opening the door, but once he sees the feminine blonde boy and the Antichrist, he relaxes a few. Kinda. It's Tweek after all.

" O-Oh! H-Hi Pip! Damien! Uh…GAH! Come in please!" The twitchy boy greets them and opens the door widely. Pip says his thanks and walks in.

" So Pip. I'm going to take a walk now. I'll come back in a few." Damien informs his lover.

" Oh! Certainly! I will not be too long! Promise!" Pip replies in glee and runs up to Damien to kiss him on the cheek. Damien, of course, has to lean down for the height difference. To receive the loving affection from his lover, he is required to bend down for him being so tall. Or…Pip being so short. Either way, he needs to bend down.

" I'll come back later." Damien explains and waves his hand while walking out of the house. Damien hastens his pace while walking down the sidewalk. Even he himself won't admit it; he wants to get back to his Pip as soon as possible. So he takes a quick jog around town.

Being the demonic teen as he is, his agility is far greater than the normal average mortal. Even so, he doesn't prove it during school. It's just known he wants to get around quick to come back to his lover. Walking with his hands in his pockets, his speed walk looks rather ridiculous. He takes his left hand out of his pocket to look at his black fiery time watch Pip has given him on their 2nd year anniversary. He hasn't taken it off since. Distracted by his watch, he didn't see the upcoming blondes coming his way.

"OUFF!" A little blonde cries out and falls backwards into a taller, more muscular blonde.

" O-Oh! I-I'm sorry Damien! I didn't s-see where I was going!" The smaller light blonde apologizes while getting his footing.

" Don't apologize Butters. Mr. Pip-Fucker was too much in a hurry to see you." The more taller blonde, Kenny comforts the smaller teen.

"Shut up Kenny." Damien glares at the boy. The dirty blonde smirks and shrugs.

" Fine fine. Come on Butters. Let's get to GameStop." Kenny nudges Butters.

"GameStop? Why?" Damien asks in curiosity. It never once occurred to him that these…"DS" and "Xbox" was anything near interesting. Yet, these humans waste all their money on buying these game platforms. That had no form of sense to the Antichrist. Although, Damien has never actually, even played the DS before.

" W-We're going to GameStop t-to get the second Professor Layton game! The Diabolical Box!" Butters claps his hands in glee.

" Pro-Professor Layton?" Damien tilts his head in a dog-like manner, due to habits.

" Yeah. You know? Professor Layton and the Curious Village? The puzzle master? I beat both games already. Butters just finished the first one. So we're gonna get him the second." Kenny replies looking down at the more feminine blonde.

" Yeah! T-The Curious Village had the cutest ending ever!" Butters continues on.

" Yeah. You cried." Kenny snickers.

" H-Hey! You teared up too you know? A big handsome fellow as you sobbed at the cute endings for _both_ games!" Butters argues. Kenny flinches and shakes his head in failure.

" Fine I'll give you that. Come on. Let's go. See ya Damien." Kenny salutes and the two head off.

' _Professor Layton? Hmp. What utter foolishness.'_ Damien thinks and continues his speed walk around town. Walking down the town's sidewalk, he comes across the famous South Park McDonald. Looking at the building, he sees outside tables with red and yellow patio umbrellas. Looking down the umbrellas he sees the oh, so familiar blue and red beanie and a bright green ushanka. (Kyle's green hat.)

Damien is also shocked to see Stan playing on his black…DS was it?

" Ah! Dude! I seriously can't get this puzzle!" Stan shouts in frustration. Damien sees the DS's two screens. On the bottom screen, there's a man in a top hat. The man flashes three times and on the third time, the man pulls his hat down and frowns. Then on the top screen it flashes " INCORRECT."

"Stan! It's totally easy! Look at the puzzle again!" Stan taps 'Try Again' on the bottom screen ad some numbers show up. Then there's a puzzle picture. The puzzle says you have to find something odd in the picture. The picture shows a man-waving goodbye to lady while he's riding in the train. Half of his body is out of the window saying goodbye to his what looks to be lover.

" Ok Stan. You used all of your hint coins and you still don't get it!" Kyle laughs.

" S-Shut up! Just help me ok?" Stan asks looking back to his screen. He's concentrating very hard on this game.

" Ok ok! So Stan. Look at the man's hands. Where are they?" Kyle asks smiling.

" Um…one of them is waving and the other's pushing the window up." Stan explains, still concentrating.

" Good! Now look at the hand that's holding the window. What's wrong with that?" Kyle leans in closer, pointing to the man's hand with Stan's stylus.

" Uh…" Stan ponders. Kyle rolls his eyes and sits back down in his seat, waiting for Stan's answer.

" Um…er… I…I don't know." Stan gives up and passes Kyle his DS. Kyle starts chuckling.

" Here. Look." Kyle shows the screen to Stan.

" You see he's holding up the window right? Well, look at the top of the train. The window's too large to be pulled up that high." Kyle explains, pointing every detail out.

" So…if that was real, the window would've gone through the roof?" Stan thinks thoughtfully.

" Yeah! That's right! Now circle it!" Kyle commands Stan. Stan nods his head and does what Kyle instructed. The man with the top hat appears again on the bottom screen once more. He flashes three times again but this time, on the third one the man is smiling. The top screen flashes "CORRECT".

" Dude! You totally got it!" Stan shouts in victory.

" Yeah yeah! Now go buy me a McFlurry!" Kyle demands sitting back down in his chair.

" I thought you were diabetic?" Stan asks in confusion.

" I never said the McFlurry was for me." Kyle smiles at Stan, which is returned by another smile.

Seeing Stan leave, Damien takes one more look at the screen Kyle is playing. It's the Professor Layton game. It's Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box to be more certain. Finding this event odd, Damien continues his walk.

My, this…Professor Layton is quite a popular game isn't it? Even with the encouragement to buy the game from what past events had told, he brushes off the thoughts of the game and starts jogging.

"WAHHH!!!!" A familiar cry is heard when Damien comes across Stark's Pond. Damien is led off by the annoying, high pitch sounds and trips over a rock. Forgetting about footing, he pushes off the ground with his hands and makes a flip on the other side.

"Fuck. Who the hell?" Damien curses looking over to the bench near Stark's Pond. Soon enough, the two humans known as Clyde and Token are sitting on the bench. And yes, Clyde is the one crying.

" Seriously? Crying again Clyde?" Token asks shaking his head in disappointment.

" B-But…WAHH!! I-It was just so…soo amazing!!" Clyde is crying hard with tears falling over his cheeks. His cheeks are red from all the wailing. He looks as small and helpless as a small infant lost in a mall.

" Dude. If you're going to cry over the ending of the Curious Village, then I just can't wait to see your reaction to the Diabolical Box's ending." Token rolls his eyes and starts patting his best friend's back.

" B-But! It…~sniff~ was just s-so amazing! I totally didn't know that everyone was a-a robot! And Flora left the town! S-She was so brave!" Clyde cries out and sniffing. Token sighs and looks up to the sky with a smile.

Damien overheard their conversation and is completely freaked out. This game…is stalking him? Not wanting to hear any more of this Layton game, Damien starts to run at his top speed back to Craig and Tweek's house. He closed his eyes and used his ear and nose senses to guide his way back. He doesn't want to see another DS after the occasion.

Damien finally arrives back at the light blue house and opens the door; surprisingly enough it's unlocked.

" Pip! I am back!" Damien calls out. He doesn't see anyone in the living room and runs into the kitchen after hearing small whispers.

" Wahhh!!! ~Sniff~ Ahhh!! ~Sob~" Pip crys out into Tweek's arms.

" Oh Pip. It's ok. Don't worry." Tweek comforts the small blonde in his own arms. Damien, shocked, runs over to Craig and cups his collar in his fists.

" What. The. Fuck. Happened?" Damien hisses angrily at the boy. Craig flips him off and pushes Damien off him.

" Nothing much. Tweek helped Pip beat Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box so now Pip's crying over the ending." Craig explains pointing to the two. Damien stares at him dumbfounded.

" Seriously. Pip's crying as hard as Tweek did. I soo do not cry." Craig teases his boyfriend.

" H-Hey! ARG! Don't lie! You cried! Admit it! GAH!" Tweek shouts back at his lover, overhearing what he said.

" SHUT UP." Craig's face brightens up red and he turns his head away.

" I'll make some tea Pip." Craig says and hurries off to the kitchen's cabinets for some teabags.

" T-That, that would b-b-be lovely." Pip manages to whimper out through his hands.

" WAHHHAHA!! W-Why!! AHH! I-It was too cute! T-THE DRAMA! O-Oh my!!" Pip sobs out into Tweek's chest.

"Shh…shh…GAH! It's all right. I bet Anton and Katia will get along w-well!" Tweek comforts.

" B-But why did ~Sniff~ Sophia have to die?! WHY!?" Pip crys out.

" I-It's ok! GAH! Anton and Sophia's love was strong!" Tweek praises.

" A-And the box! O-OH! I did not expect the Elysian box t-to be one to carry their words of love!" Pip hollers out and falls back into Tweek's arms.

Damien stares at the whole scene in complete horror, confusion and dismay. This…Professor Layton is such a trend.

"Damn you Layton," Damien whispers softly.

"Layton, you bastard."

Damien really needs to buy this game.

**--**

**END**

**End A/N: Ehehehehe. Well, … I guess it's over. Ahaha. Professor Layton is such a fun game. After completing the second game for the third time, I started crying at the ending. Again. It was just too cute!! I mean come on! Sophia's letter was just amazing! She wrote it in her final hours! Just…so sad. Finished on 12/31. WOW! **

**Plus, I enjoy all of the puzzles! My favorite was the Elysian box's puzzles. **

" **When the sun rise,**

**you and I will meet.**

**When the wind's gust blows,**

**You will know my heart." Or something like that. XDD That one was too easy. I think the second game's puzzles were easier than the first. Hehe. **

**Anyways, I guess this fic was a little bit too OC. Also, if you haven't played Professor Layton at all, GO BUY IT, OR BORROW IT, OR DOWNLOAD IT! (Cough Cough r4 COUGH COUGH.) **

**Hehe! Thank you~!**

**--RSS**


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